A new comb could soon be providing the follically-challenged with fresh hope following successful tests in Sweden and Halifax.
The electric implement utilizes energy emissions from the scalp to replicate the sensation of brushing your hair. A mild juddering is induced in the lower arm when you hold the comb a couple of inches from the skull and pretend to tidy your top topiary, giving the impression of follicular resistance.
Dave Florentine, a retired welder, picks up the story:
“I were asked to try out this comb, a new comb. They told me to imagine I was brushing my hair, so I said ‘I don’t have hair,’ and they replied ‘We know you don’t have hair. That’s why we’re asking you to imagine brushing your hair.’ ‘Alright,’ I replied, ‘But I tell thee, my hair is not there!’ It were only when I tried brushing my hair upon the stair without a care that I felt aware of hair that had not been there!”
The revolutionary grooming product does not have a name as yet and is being called ‘The Benjamin’, after its inventor, Professor Benjamin Traphandle, who ironically has a lot of hair.
“We’re asking the public to come up with some alternative names,” commented Professor Traphandle. “We’ll pick one at random and decide, as long as the sentient hair replication product does not end up being called Boaty McBoatface!”