It’s been nearly a decade since director James Cameron introduced us to the magical world of Avatar. Since then not just one, but multiple sequels have been promised.
However fans are in for a shock, as studio 20th Century Fox has announced the movies have been canned, with Cameron agreeing to a more stripped-down approach. Fox exec Tony “The Tiger” Tackleberry picks up the story:
“It was all going on too long. We’d spent millions of dollars and Jim is very particular about what he wants and doesn’t want. I was chatting to him and saying ‘So the sequel’s coming out in 2020’ and he said ‘Yeah’. Then I heard him say under his breath. ‘Maybe 2030’ and that’s when I realized things had gotten out of hand.”
Audiences will instead watch Cameron in his office talking about what goes on in the rest of the story to Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Ziggoney Weavers and others.
“Jim will now just describe what happens. It’ll take around two hours, so people won’t feel short-changed. He is really going to go into detail about things, with hand gestures and swishing noises and everything. We did consider painting him blue but he wasn’t up for that.”
Negotiations are nearly completed on the new project, though Cameron has stalled talks with one major request.
“He wants to shoot in IMAX. Bearing in mind it’s just a guy sitting at a desk I think that’s excessive. But we’ll hammer the goddamned thing out and hopefully get this f***er rounded off once and for all.”
Cameron could not be reached for comment due to the alignment of the planets.