We all like a Bank Holiday. But spare a thought for bank manager Raymond Cashew, who has a novel idea as to how to enjoy his break over the long weekend. He’s not leaving the building he works in behind… he’s putting it on a flatbed truck and taking it with him to Wales!
“I thought it would be a fun thing to do,” commented Cashew, 43. “The bank’s closed, I’m on my own. Why not have it removed from its foundations and towed to the campsite?”
When asked if the structure would require its own tent, Cashew rather worryingly took the question at face value. “Hmm, I hadn’t thought about that. Well, you’d need a lot of fabric! Don’t think Millets do one that big. Mind you, the bank does have a roof, so technically it wouldn’t need a tent around it!”
The erstwhile financial wrangler is particularly upbeat when it comes to the bank’s effect on his love life. “Imagine me down the local nightspot telling the girls I’ve uprooted a bank branch from its foundations and transported it to the campsite where I’m staying at. A lot of them will want to have intercourse with me after they hear that!”
Cashew is waiting to hear back from head office about whether he can get permission to remove the bank. He has booked a construction team and flatbed truck in anticipation, paying them four thousand pounds apiece.
Millets were unavailable for comment as they put the phone down.